A Clichéd Love Story

Dusk in Shanghai.  Nice right?

Gosh. Was my last post in February?  I have been thinking about this post since before it was time to post it and now I am way late posting it.  I wish I could say I have been only hard at work (of course I have been! VERY in fact!), but the truth is, I have also been hard at play. Yes, heave the sigh of relief - this is the Tracy you all know. 

So anyway, this post is meant to commemorate my first year in China - 16 April 2013.  I had grand plans about how I should write this post - share my triumphs?; discuss the gross things I have encountered? ; or shed some light on the life lessons I have garnered while here (like never mistakenly think the plane I am on is gonna take off until it is actually in the air)?, or tips on how to survive in China (er, don't eat rat-meat disguised as mutton?).  But the more I procrastinated on writing this post, the more I felt I should really pay tribute to this incredible country & city that I have fallen in love with deeply. Here's a recount of how I dove headlong into this tumultuous, passionate relationship... 

Should I make the first move? 

You know when you see the cute guy standing at the bar, looking all chill and nonchalant and you are willing him to just look your way so you can establish eye contact and sizzle him with your fabulous eye makeup? This is when you wonder - should I make the first move? But I am a lady leh. Ladies wait... & wait... & wait. 

So this was what happened. I saw the opening in China but I thought, if China (or rather my boss) wants me here, something will happen. But me being me - God forgot to input the "coy" gene in me - I asked to be considered and voila (courtesy of my French classes), I got it.  This was followed by a "what have I done?" panic but that detracts from my lovely story so never mind.  Anyway sizzle on to the next phase...

Mingle tingle giggle 

So you start dating this cute guy and you feel heady just thinking about the next next next date while waiting for him to turn up for a 'casual coffee'. There are long hours of chatting because everything he says is either knee-slapping witty; insightful (this guy probably reads the encyclopaedia when in the loo); deep (yes, why does a girl need so many bags indeed? - existential, I know); and touches your soul like you've never been touched before (cue vulgar sniggers). This is the famous honeymoon period. You FB/insta/Wechat Moments/tumblr/pininterest all the dates you are on so everyone can see just how perfect you guys are together (& oh how interesting that Delifrance croissant looks).

So likewise for me, everything in Shanghai was shiny and new. I moved into a beautiful apartment, walked through a chic tourist attraction to get to work, and made wonderful new friends who were cooler than me (how is that possible right? But it is true...), bought the bike which has had its own fair share of photo-shoots, got to travel like the Kardashians - I was in relationship heaven. And I often found myself wondering, how did I ever get here? (including the time when the driver was lost in Taizhou - I still don't know where this is), and sometimes saying to myself, I am incredibly blessed. By the way, I am.  : )

I had surreal moments by the truckloads. It was sensory overload and I was loving it. Before I knew it, I was headlong, blindly in love. Remember my previous post about the "Fly Love" song and the soft-focus photos of Shanghai? It was cute but also cringe-worthy. No one outside of China wanted to talk to me anymore because all I could say was, 'Shanghai is so wunnerfooolll! You have to come!'.  Shanghai had me at 你好.   

Moving in together seriously 

So you go steady (so throwback!) and make it official.  THEN the hairline cracks start showing. 

- He doesn't know that Celine is not just a popular girl that everyone seems to be acquainted with.  

- He uses the last piece of toilet paper and then 'forgets' to replenish it.  

- He farts. With you in bed. Under the covers.      

- He disappears when you are in the fitting room and you come out saying 'how?' to other girls' boyfriends. 

- He admits that he read the Britannica when he was ten so didn't realise that Serbia and Croatia are now two different countries. 

For me, the equivalent were:

- 40-degree sweltering summers transiting almost instantly into snowy freezing winters. 

- Perpetual flight delays. From one hour to ten hours - I have endured them all.  

- Pushy people who spit, yell, make their kids poop by the roadside (true story this). 

- The constant, never-ending travelling. What seemed like a jet-setter lifestyle began to feel like I owed the stewardesses a living.  And the suitcase is never unpacked. 

- Not being able to shop without feeling the pinch because common brands are just more expensive here. 

- Food not being of edible stuff. 

The crash to reality was hard. The bubble was burst, the air all let out and the plummet was spectacular. But with reality, comes realisation (when you don't run screaming in the opposite direction) ...

This is for the long haul

A chic coffee joint in a
very local Shanghainese neighbourhood

After the twentieth fart, maybe you start appreciating the smell... - ok eewww, sorry, gross analogy. Let me try again. So, maybe him not knowing brands is not such a bad thing after all. This means you can buy the new LV and say, 'Oh, only 20 RMB la' and he would not be any wiser.  Now you have settled into a comfortable routine with this person. You know you can count on him whether rain or shine, and for great company whether on a crazy night out or just chilling at home. And once in a while, he continues to surprise you. This is when it becomes a full-fledged relationship. Sometimes you still get sweaty palms and nervous tingles when you are reaching the spot where you are meeting him; sometimes you see something stupidly funny and you mentally take a photo so you can describe it to him in detail; when you are away, all you want to do is take the next flight back to him. This is when you know it is LOVE. 

In the same way, I have come to accept all that is Shanghai, warts and all, in its full technicolour, volume-blasting detail.  Beyond the sparkly surface where the 老外s gather and gasp at this oriental pearl, there is a Shanghai that throbs and heaves with character moulded over the last hundred years.  I am intrigued by this city, this country and its people; how every corner seems to throw up a new and different discovery all the time ; how its people have touched me, like kindly cabbies, friendly smiley service staff (ok not all the time, but there are some rare appearances); and how I've had some of the most interesting experiences here (see rest of blog for details!).

My relationship with the city and its people is still in the making. I am sure there will be times I want to stamp my foot in frustration, but I am gonna stay put. This is for the long haul. 

Xoxo Shanghai, 

Tracy 

P.S. By the way, I no longer have a bob. My hair has since grown out. Took a year, but finally...!